


Things Are Seldom As They Seem

by niblick_iii



Category: Gilbert & Sullivan & Related Fandoms, H.M.S. Pinafore - Sullivan/Gilbert
Genre: All Male HMS Pinnafore, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, It's all about the framing device, M/M, Original Character(s), Sasha Regan, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8606332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niblick_iii/pseuds/niblick_iii
Summary: HMS Pinafore, sort of, on a 1940s Royal Navy ship. See notes for an explanation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hoo boy. This one is going to need some explanation. Earlier this year, I saw Sasha Regan's *magnificent* All Male production of HMS Pinafore (seriously, if you get a chance to see any of her All Male G&S, do, it's brilliant). The show was done with minimal costume and set, with the framing device that this was aboard a ship during the Second World War, and the cast were sailors mucking about to pass the time, putting on a show for their own amusement. And due to some truly wonderful performances, I found I just couldn't get the characters of the sailors implied by the framing device out of my mind. And so, this was born.

Charlie Cripps had been a dresser before the war. His escape from the parental expectation of a wife, a family, a 9-5 job in some office somewhere to the bright lights of London’s West End had been nothing short of miraculous, so no one was more surprised than he was to find himself signing up at the outbreak of war. He’d left school, fled, at 15, with no qualifications, but he had a logical turn of mind, was quick with his hands, and so had swiftly found himself Probationary Engine Room Mechanic, and was soon assigned to HMS Pinafore.

He was surprised how quickly he’d taken to life aboard ship. Used to the routine, if not the boredom. Used to the endless hurry-up-and-wait whilst the Pinafore prowled the shipping ways, hunting German U-Boats.  He was particularly fond of Blue Watch and their penchant for filling the dull dreary hours of downtime with impromptu entertainment.

Charlie didn’t know who had started it, but what had begun as occasional singsongs had morphed into full productions involving the whole shift, with props and costumes garnered from whatever happened to be lying around. The plots were made up on the fly, built by each succeeding man into wonderful, ridiculous melodrama full of romance, plot twists, mistaken identities and evil villains.

Charlie walked into the bunkroom, carrying his toolbox, rags neatly tucked into the pockets of his toolbelt, suppressing a smile at the sight of Able Seaman William Corcoran, lounging on his bunk, letter from home in hand. William was his closest friend onboard ship, one of the few who treated him as an equal, rather than as the crew mascot, useful to make everyone laugh with his antics during their musical forays, but otherwise to be ignored. William was often his foil during those, too; the two of them bounced off each other like the best honed double act, each driving the other to new heights of ridiculousness. Charlie had lost count of the number of times that William had been his long lost lover, arch enemy or secret twin.

Which all made it rather more inconvenient that Charlie had fallen in love with him, truth told. He tried not to let it show, but sometimes the mask slipped, and rumours circulated, as rumours do. By this point it had become a running joke that Charlie was pining over the bluff sailor, but William seemed oblivious to any remarks on the subject, or at least he diplomatically pretended to be. He continued to treat Charlie with the same warm camaraderie and affection that was his stock in trade, and the two often found themselves talking long into the night about whatever subject crossed their minds. Charlie knew that this only added fuel to the fire of the rumour mill, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, not when he had those unguarded moments to treasure up for later. He only hoped that William never figured out just how much truth those rumours contained.

As more crew filtered into the bunk room, their shift over, Signalman Bobstay pulled out a small recorder, and started playing a merry tune. One by one, the sailors picked up the melody, getting to their feet and starting a dance that was a bastardisation of their morning jerks.

_“We sail the ocean blue,_   
_And our saucy ship’s a beauty…”_

Charlie watched as the number drew to a close, contemplating the next scene. Inspiration struck. He adjusted his grip on his toolbox, shifting to hold it like a hand basket, and launched into song. 

_“Hail, men-o'-war's men — safeguards of your nation….”_

As he sang, he sank gracefully to his knees, placing his toolbox-basket beside him. From it he pulled out a scrap of material, and tied it round his head in a bow for a makeshift headscarf.

The others took this as their cue and descended, one unbuttoning his epaulettes and folding them up and out so that they gave the impression of puffed sleeves. Another began pulling rags out of Charlie’s toolbelt, draping them out of the pockets to form a fringe, and then twisted the whole belt round to the back to hint at a bustle. Finally a third seaman swooped in to paint him some comically red cheeks with contraband rouge that Charlie was fairly sure had come from a brothel at their last port stop.

Transformation complete, Buttercup stood up to finish her song in a pleasing contralto.

_“…Sweet little Buttercup, I!”_

And with that, they were off. Dick Turner shoved a pillow up  the back of his jumper to turn himself into Dick Deadeye, a most triangular chap. William was the Captain, a fine upstanding man, secretly in love with Charlie’s Buttercup, but unable to act due to her low birth. Joe Davies became his daughter Josephine, pining for Ralph Rackstraw, a lowly sailor, and promised to Sir Joseph Porter, the First Lord of the Admiralty who had never been to sea (played with gusto by Petty Officer Porter). A chorus of his cousins, sisters and aunts joined the sailors to round out the cast as they spent the next couple of hours creating a masterpiece of comic interludes, high drama, and complex harmony leading to a finale of uncovered scandal, and fitting resolutions that allowed Ralph and Josephine and Buttercup and the Captain to finally be together and live happily ever after. As the final song wound to a close, the actors started shedding their makeshift costumes, returning to their normal selves, congratulating each other on another excellent evening’s entertainment. Charlie found himself facing William, who stared at him for a long minute before stepping in to kiss him on the cheek. Charlie ducked backwards and offered his hand instead. William gave him a sheepish grin and shook the proffered hand.

As the music wound up, Charlie knelt back down by his toolbox, quietly setting his uniform back to rights, and wiping the rouge off his cheeks with his erstwhile headscarf. He couldn’t quite contain a melancholy smile. William had been on fine form tonight, playing up the forbidden love aspect of their characters’ story, with longing looks and almost kisses. Charlie always played right along with him, enjoying every minute, but it always meant a bumpier return to ground afterwards, remembering to lock those emotions back away, and living with the knowledge that he was never going to get his happy ending.

***

Charlie slipped out onto deck, knowing no one would miss him for a while yet. He leaned on the rail, gazing over the dark sea, turning the evening over in his mind. Ralph and Joe had been getting particularly familiar tonight. He wouldn’t be surprised if the night ended with both of them sharing a bunk. Churchill had once said that the traditions of the Royal Navy were rum, sodomy and the lash, and whilst flogging might have fallen out of favour, the other two were still going strong, especially to occupy the long weeks at sea with not a sniff of female company. Charlie laughed bitterly. Yes, senior offices with memories of public school might have tolerated mutual relief of tension, but falling in love with a fellow crewmate was not a recipe for a happy life.

Charlie sighed. He wasn’t sure what William had meant by going to kiss him earlier. The idea that he was somehow still swept up in the romance they’d just been playing seemed like hollow justification, and yet Charlie hoped it was the case. He saw the light in William’s eyes sometimes, the spark of desire, and wondered if he could be strong enough if William ever tried to push it. Charlie couldn’t risk their friendship for a moment of weakness, couldn’t bear to have only a taste of what he so desperately wanted.  A quiet, hopeful corner of his mind wondered if it was possible that William could feel the same as he did, could love him, could want him for more than a night, for more than an hour, but that thought was quickly dismissed. Hopes were too painful, as folorn as they were.

In a twisted kind of way, Charlie dreaded the end of the war. Close as they were now, the idea that William and he might remain friends once they were discharged and had gone their separate ways was nothing short of absurd. William would go back to Shrewesbury and his job as a carpenter, find some nice lass to settle down with and never think of his queer little friend from the Pinafore. Charlie wondered if that would be more or less painful than remaining in touch and having to see Mrs Corcoran and all the little Corcorans get everything he ever wanted but couldn’t have. He was interrupted before he could come to a conclusion by the arrival of the object of his musings, who came to lean on the rail next to him.

“Good one tonight, wasn’t it?” asked William, after a moment of silence.

“Mmm,” said Charlie, noncommittally. He kept staring at the waves breaking a few feet out from the ship, until he became aware that his companion’s attention was no longer on the vast ocean before them, but instead was watching him with a sort of wary intent.

“What is it?”

“I prefer you like this, you know,” the other man said, gesturing vaguely at Charlie.

“Like what?”

“You know,” William reached out a finger and brushed it gently down Charlie’s now makeup free cheek, making him shiver. “You.”

Charlie now felt frozen in place by the soft expression of affection in William’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what William had read in his face, but the other man turned away with a barely audible sigh. Staring out to sea, William said, “I haven’t… I’m not an fool for hoping, am I? I see how you look at me sometimes, you do want me, don’t you? ”

This was the moment Charlie had both feared and longed for. This was the moment where he had to be strong, to laugh it off and step away. To save his friendship and protect his heart. But he couldn’t summon the strength, not when William turned to look at him again, nerves and hope warring on his face.

Charlie nodded, mutely.

“Oh thank god,” William took an abortive half step towards Charlie. “I mean, I don’t mean… I don’t just mean now, here. But…”

He ran a hand through his hair and turned his attention back to the horizon, to where black water merged into midnight sky.

“I always thought that I’d get married eventually. In a few years, you know? Always in a few years. And then I joined up, and, well, that was fine, plenty of time for marriage after the war. I know plenty of lads got married before shipping out, but I never had a sweetheart to leave behind, you see? And I wasn’t going to marry someone I met on shore leave. And then…”

William turned back to face Charlie, and earnest expression on his face.

“...and then I met you, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face the thought of settling down with some girl _,_ not when I knew you. Don’t you see, Charlie? It’s you, it has to be you. I just can’t imagine a life for me after this thing that doesn’t include you. And I thought tonight, I thought I saw something on your face that maybe, maybe you felt the same way. Maybe I’m not a fool. And I know, I _know_ it won’t be easy. I’ll have to find work in London, and we’ll have to be careful, so careful, but if you want it too, then it’s worth the risk. _You’re_ worth the risk. Do you? Do you feel the same?”

William’s question, his plea, hung in the air, but Charlie still couldn’t make himself move, couldn’t bring himself to believe what he was hearing. William sighed again, more audibly this time and made to move away.

“Shit. I’m sorry. I completely… Forget I said anything. Please. I swear, I won’t mention it again, just don’t tell anyone what I said. I’ll go now, I’ll never talk to you again, if that’s what you want, but please, _please_ don’t report me.”

Charlie unfroze all at once, grabbed hold of William’s arm and turned the other man back round to face him, praying he wasn’t too late, but not knowing what he was going to say to fix this. When he saw the devastated expression on William’s face, he didn’t even think, just used his grip on his arm, and his other hand on his other shoulder to pull him close enough to kiss. William responded after a second, drawing Charlie into his arms, whilst Charlie’s hands slid round his neck and into his hair. After losing themselves in each other for a long moment, both men realised that the deck of a Royal Naval ship was not the most auspicious location, and reluctantly drew away and turned back to lean on the railing, although William made sure to take Charlie’s hand where it was shielded from observers by their bodies.

Charlie tried to process how he could so quickly find his fortunes reversed and found it nearly impossible.

“How... how long…?”, he asked, not quite coherently.

William scratched the back of his neck, embarrassedly. “Longer than I care to admit. I was drawn to you straight away, for reasons I couldn’t quite explain to myself. It took longer still for me to realise I was in love with you. But it was only tonight, when you stopped me from kissing you in the bunk room that I realised I had to find out one way or another if I had any hope. What?” he added, noticing the shocked expression on Charlie’s face.

“You’re in love with me?”

“Well, of course I am, Charlie. What did you think I meant?” William replayed their earlier conversation. “…but I didn’t actually say it, did I?”

He turned to look at the man next to him. “Charlie, I love you.”

Charlie squeezed their still joined hands. “I love you too, William,”

They both turned back to the water.

Charlie sighed again, the sigh of a man who has had a great weight lifted.

“What?”

“I just… never even dreamed that something like this could happen.”

“What never?”

 “No never!”

“What never?”

“Well, hardly ever!”

And the sound of laughter echoed over the silent seas.


End file.
